Yep, this is K's requisite senseless-raving-about-movies post, and today, we'll be talking about 300
, (which many claim is the first good movie of this year). Well... I'LL be talking about 300
while people put up with my completely biased and one-sided opinions. Hehehehe.
It's been a good while since Ian and I were interested enough in a movie to actually shell out money for it, instead of just buying cheap, bootleg DVDs at a nearby mall (hey, this is the Philippines, and that's the way it works). So, Ian and I saw 300
in the theaters a couple of weeks back. We've actually been waiting for the movie to arrive in this country for a few months already, since we first saw the trailer. Plus we can never resist anything from Frank Miller. Hey, if the movie was done with Miller's direction and approval, then we're all for it. Anyone who claims that the movie's cinematography, story, visual effects, concept, etc., is crappy or shallow... will simply have to take that up with Frank Miller himself. Haha!Points
- Many have been trying to count the number of nipples that are found in this movie (you know who you are! Haha!), and I say it's actually 616, and not 604. You forgot about Xerxes, the deformed Spartan whats-his-name (yes, he has nipples, too), and the dancing girls in Xerxes' harem (I counted 5. I'll need to get the DVD to be sure). Hehehehe...
- Apparently, Boromir isn't the cooler one among Gondor's royal (?) sons. As we can see, Boromir went on to become a hitchhiking serial killer, while Faramir went on to become a pretty hawt Spartan soldier.
- Has it ever occured to anyone that 300
actually has the makings of a musical? Think about it... Xerxes, raising his arms to bask in his own glory, then singing.... (Immortals) FAME!!
(Xerxes) I'm gonna live forever! I'm gonna learn how to fly!~
(Xerxes) I'm gonna make it to heaven! Baby remember my name...
(Immortals) Remember... remember...
... all with a matching special production number.
- A warning to parents, this movie bears its current rating of "Mature" for a good reason. It contains an enjoyable amount of gore, and a not-THAT-enjoyable amount of sex. And nipples. Just so you know that you might want to shoo the little 'uns away if you're watching this at home.
- When watching this movie, keep in mind that it is an ADAPTATION of Frank Miller's... well, ADAPTATION of an event that we were all taught about in high school. It is NOT meant to be historically accurate since the Discovery Channel and National Geographic Channel have already got that part covered.
- You do NOT mess with a Spartan queen, biatch! Stupid Greek politician had it coming, I tell you.
- This is a testosterone-fest that is set in the martial kingdom of Sparta. Turn off your brain, or keep it on silent, so that everyone can enjoy the movie, okay? If you really need to answer your gray matter's call, please quietly leave the room and take the call there. Thank you.
(Otherwise, you can just watch 300: the PG version
. As swiped from denning
)THIS!! IS!! CAAAAAAAKE!!!
"Only Spartan women give birth to real men."
*Leonidas being questioned about why he only brought 300 men, while there way more Greeks who are mostly composed of bakers, potters, etc.*
Leonidas: "SPARTANS!! What is your profession???"
Leonidas: See? I brought more soldiers than you.
"THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAA!!!!" *sabay sipa. Um!*
"May you live forever." (<-- We're guessing it's the Spartan equivalent of "You moron! Get lost and die, you stupid fuck!!")Fangirling
Anyway, yes, I'm fangirling, and I'm dissing the critics who couldn't provide valid arguments on why the movie is supposedly bad (thankfully, though, not too many people listen to them, even in Greece
). I do however, repect those who DID manage to give some pretty good arguments, and I'm hoping that Miller would pick up some of their suggestions so that he could use it for any future movie venture.
There IS, however, one particular critic whom I want to flush down a toilet. It's another feminist who gives the rest of the female population a bad name. This feminist claimed that Leonidas' wife was merely a token character, and that the fact that she had to spout "macho" lines to prove her "strength" was an insult to all women in general. Well, I beg to differ. In case the critic was asleep instead of watching the movie that she was supposed to review, there's a few points she missed:
- Leonidas practically asked for his wife's permission before killing the Persian emmissary.
- Leonidas listened to his wife instead of the oracle when he decided to take his 299... erm... bodyguards for a... stroll.
That doesn't sound quite "token" to me.
Lastly, there is one HUGE thing that the said feminist missed, which therefore caused her to wrongly attribute the wife's "macho-ness"...THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
*kick* <--(the line just isn't complete without a vigorous kick to the stomach, really.)
** In our next episode, K talks about the movie Dreamgirls! Be warned! XD